Anthony Bourdain Is My Hero
this was written and published on medium on june 8, 2018.
When I woke up this morning and looked at my phone, I felt something in my chest that doesn’t happen too often…thank goodness. I felt what can be best described as my heart exploding. I felt it burst and hit against my chest…and I could feel it falling down like shrapnel. And then almost on cue, the breath left my lungs, and I felt like I was paused in place.
Anthony Bourdain was one of my heroes. I don’t mean that in an abstract, “look how cool his life is, and he doesn’t give a fuck, he’s my hero!” way — though those things are true. I mean, I found him when I was supposed to, I took in his words and stories, he showed me the world in a way I hadn’t seen it before, and he changed me and the way I live my life forever — hero.
In 2005 there was a new tv show called Kitchen Confidential. I didn’t know it was based on a memoir of a celebrity chef, I just knew it had Bradley Cooper in the cast, so I was there. I watched a few episodes and the character Jack (loosely Anthony) Bourdain found himself back at a woman’s house, and he said a line that I think of every single time I’m in my kitchen:
“All you will ever need in the knife department is one good chef’s knife, as large as is comfortable for your hand.”
I think about that because every time I go to make a meal, I reach for the one knife I have / use.
The show wasn’t on long enough, and I craved more…so I bought the book, and then I found No Reservations on the Travel Channel, and I fell in love — with him, the world, food, drinks, people I would never meet — and I quickly learned a valuable lesson; all around the world, people love food, so start there.
I have always thought of myself as a worldly person. But I didn’t become a GOOD worldly person until Anthony came into my life. I once went to Mexico for a trip. Not a beach resort, but Mexico. I went to this restaurant and ordered enchiladas and I tried to change how they made it…tried to custom order it, as if I would know better. I said yellow cheese, I meant cheddar, they gave me American cheese. That’s what I deserved. Watching No Reservations showed me that when you go to another country, let THEM show you their food. Don’t change it — TRY it first. Food is a language we all can speak. So shut up, eat, and listen. That’s the first lesson I learned from Anthony.
The second lesson I learned was if you are going to take the time and pay the money to go to these places, see them for what they sincerely are. Sure, see the touristy stuff, but also don’t. Don’t go to that restaurant that all the travel pages tell you to go, investigate and research on your own. Don’t spend all day in line to see that one thing for a hot second. Don’t take a cruise and have them tell you where you can go. Don’t do that tour that skims the true essence of the place — you gotta dive in.
Do ask the locals. About everything. Do sit and people watch. You’re visiting, but they live there. And if you must take a tour, take the one that revolves around drinking. That rule has served me so well. I have taken a beer/graffiti tour in East London, a haunted bar tour in Savannah, and a literary beer tour in Dublin. All of those tours have shown me those cities in a way I would have never seen it.
Ride their public transportation, eat where they eat (ask them, they’ll tell you), and always say hello before asking questions. And for God’s sake, keep your voice down. They call us loud Americans for a reason.
My whole world changed the day I discovered Anthony Bourdain. I can’t imagine I’m the only one who feels that way. When he visited places, he showed us the world under the guise of food…tricked us into seeing these places more completely.
I will carry his spirit with me on all my travels and in my kitchen for the rest of my life.
One final thing. Depression doesn’t give a FUCK who you are, what you do, how much money you have, or your gender, age, or nationality. Depression is a deep dark hellacious hole that can make you feel like the world will be better off without you in it. But battling that dragon and coming out of that hole is one of the best feelings in the world. You are loved and important. If you or anyone you know is suffering from depression or suicidal thoughts, don’t be ashamed to ask for help. It’s there for you when you need it:
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1–800–273–8255
Life is short. Eat that cake, take that trip, talk to that stranger, tell everyone who you love, that you love them, and have fun.
Rest in peace, Anthony.